Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ready, Aim, and Off We Go

Out of the long tunnel of what that was. Chances to look at darkness and light, and the space in between. A gift and a whirlwind all at once. Letting me know that it is time for decision. There was a lot of fear before- and it is dissolving now.

I've known much of this knowledge all along. What I have lacked is the willingness to push through.

“The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.”

Although every man believes that his decisions and resolutions involve the most multifarious factors, in reality they are mere oscillation between flight and longing. ~Herman Broch

I have started practicing my personal journey again. There was distraction and there was mis-stepping. But which Hero's journey is not?

I have started my next phase: Caduceus & Sweat

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Not so much a fan of the man, but

"You don't want to be the best of the best," said Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia. "You just want to be the onlyone who does what you do."


Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Something I have lots of. But something I need to learn more of.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Lessons Lessons

....and always more lessons.

This world does spin so fast. I can only hope that my little monkey body is able to keep up with all this speed. I can only hope that my little monkey brain doesn't explode while attempting to comprehend.

What I do know is this: Some new phase is coming. And I am being prepared.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Today was a strange day. This month has been a strange month. This year has been a strange year.

Nothing is really what I thought it was going to be. Surprise. Or not.

I was looking at my horoscope today:
"Nobody thought it would go this way. You expected something more or something entirely different than what you've got and it's calling you to wonder if it would be best to depart before things get worse. Don't be upset with yourself for not being able to handle this; you didn't know it had strings attached. It doesn't matter if you stay or go. What matters right now are your motives; you may be better off going at this independently than you will be if you continue to have to adjust all of your behavior to please someone else, or your own sense of righteousness."

Of course- it's all mumbo-jumbo. But still. Always worth looking at to reflect upon.
If I take this into account within my own life. This could be talking about many things.

All I know is that I am propelled to go right now. I'm propelled to run, jump, and fly into something that is different than this. Because I want to Soar. And I know that leaping off the edge is the only way to really do it.

Boooooooooom. Then what happens after it all epxlodes?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Thursday, October 7, 2010

And travelling through....

I am so amazed right now. I feel like I've been shot out of a long tunnel. Or at the very least like someone took off my "jaded POV' sunglasses.
I'm dusting myself off, and looking at the damage. There is nothing that has been broken beyond at least a moderate repair.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Humbling. Motivating. Stunning. The light is so bright now.

I had to go through a lot of shit to get here. I had to learn a lot of lessons. Lessons that I had to learn now, so that I maybe the person I want to be in the future.
I wonder if asking to be a hero, means we get more challenges early on?

I am up for it. This was a hard one. But I havn't backed down yet. No! No!

So much under the surface. I am just really seeing it for the first time.

And I am so happy that I have the chance.

How did I ever think I would get wise and old without fucking up along the way?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Monday, October 4, 2010

Reaching out and

finding small trails of light. A little to long wondering where there wasn't any.
taking little leaps and small steps to correct my mis-footings. waking up and looking at a mirror each day helps. how strange 2 years can go by and you dont notice how far off the path you've been.

going down deep and realizing that it can all change in a few seconds.
now. now. now. now. now
Self correctional programs have re-ignited. 1....2.....3......and launch!

Into stratosphere and higher levels of energy. Warmer vibrations, and settling in.
Air-roots and focus. Spinning color wheels and moon songs. Searching for what it is...

Knowing it is in full effect now.

Maybe its to late to save some things- but others are just beginning.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Oh my Oh my Oh my

Learning lots of lessons. Hurtling through space at a very fast rate. How lucky I am to even be here. Every moment is a miracle. And this is something that I have seemingly forgot.

I am learning something about SURRENDER right now. What comes will come. And there are other forces that will do there will. You can only surrender.
When harsh winds blow trees, they bend with the wind, not against it. Things that are rigid are blown down, and collapse.

There is magic in my finger tips and of that I am aware. I can influence my surroundings and the world in very real ways. So where is the balance between SURRENDER and ACTION?
How much to I push, and how much do I pull? That's the delicate balance.
I've been pushing to much recently, and that's why I am so tired.

Through all of this though. I am learning. Learning to see the little glimmers of light- everywhere.

But by god do i hope that this Quantum Leap happens soon!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Thoughts have Wings

I hold it true, that thoughts are things;
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings;
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.
That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,
leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.
We build our future thought by thought,
for good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.

-Henry Van Dyke

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Eyes Wide Shut

Humbling Experiences. I am not used to feeling like a fool, or ashamed, or like i have been blind. How did I find myself in this loop? When did I start to close my eyes? When did I fall back into the robot?

There is much work to do.

"When you are stuck in a hole, what do you do?"
"Stop Digging"

Why is it our natural reaction to continue to work harder on our actions that do not produce results? Why is the idea that more force will bring results? And not an re-approach of the question?
Because it is hard to step back and it is hard to reevaluate your whole situation when you are in it.

I have been letting myself operate under: Fear
We need: Hope ----> How did I forget this?
We were upside down.

We've landed. Now what?

I must clear all the excess energy.
I must focus on the things I know to be true.
I must retrace the coming into myself and my operation.
I must trust that all will be as it will.

.:.*)(X)()( I have flipped the coin )()(X)()( and i will not forget )()(X)(*.:.

Slow Down. Ground. Remember. Step Forward.

The right things will happen- i dont believe that- but i do like to pretend its true.

Cheers to all of you.
Cheers to new beginnings everyday.
Cheers to Quest- who begins his new journey today.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Green Office Artistic Challenge: The Fridge Project

This weekend marked the start of our build days for The Fridge Project, SPACE architects part of the Green Office Artistic Challenge 2010. Our build workshop took place at 3532 Halsted St, a former auto body shop and now a parking garage during Cubs season, that has been generously donated to us. We've also had some donations of paint and materials from Sherwin Williams located at 3311 N Halsted.

Special thanks to Alderman Tom Tunney (44th Ward) and his staff for helping make all these arrangements for us. Another specials thanks to the Chicago Art Department and Nathan Peck for helping us recruit artists and produce the build days.

Want to know more about the Green Office Challenge? (

Want to know more about the Green Office Artistic Challenge?

Interested in a fridge? Contact

Monday, February 8, 2010

Maybe we can finally....

I am interested in a certain kind of reality.

And it is slowly forming. And I struggle for it to propel so much faster than it is.
Sometimes I must stop for a moment and remember how lucky I am that i even have a trajectory.

The time tunnel seems to crawl. But when I look back- I can see what far distances I've already traveled.

What silly little customs we have here on this planet of mortals and self-important monkeys.
But whose to say that the little monkey should know any better?

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Natural Reactions

"Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth." -Pema Chodron

I do forget sometimes. That after each Quantum Leap. There is an inevitable fall.

Accomplishing something leads to the next something to be accomplished.
Becoming the me I want to be never stops.
And never did I think it would. Just sometimes I forget.

And then I wonder: Why?

And the answer is as it is to most things: Because.